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Friday, May 29, 2009

Remorseful repents.
Lately I've been thinking about what I can do, I've been stressing to fall back in love with you.
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through but I can't go on this way, I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be but it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry.

I wanted you to be there when I fall, I wanted you to see me through it all.
I wanted you to be the one I loved, I wanted you, I wanted you..
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep, I wanted you to show me what I need, I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you..

I've been pushing hard to open up the door, trying to take us back to where we were before but I'm done, I just can't do this anymore. Cuz we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now.
We've been walking around in circles for some time and I think we should head for the finish line.
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I, I.. I'm so sorry baby but I, I.. I gotta pack up and leave.
But I, I'll always remember how we came close to being how I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
I wanted you...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Right to the core.
Thursday,
X-Men Origins: Wolverine, give it 3 outta 5 popcorns for that claw. Xin Wang-ed for lunch and some ol' school arcade moments with street fighter and puzzle bobble.
Work and gym-ed.

Friday,
I arrived late at work, issues came up at the very last minute, leaving me in a tiny bit of distraught moment. It wasn't a motivated reason to go to work either, and because of that i couldn't get a cab in time, which i also think resulted in my boss being pissed off with me. I'm working on my punctuality nonetheless. Sometimes, i'm really baffled by what i'm supposed to do and what not to. I'll just leave it for time, to heal, to flow, to see where it goes.
Just when i got back home, with my partial eye makeup still on, sister and I went on a passport photo shoot frenzy mode. Finally settled with a decent looking picture of us each to send for submission the next day. And gosh, i have to admit, the maturity and ages are showing on my face, on the whole, i don't have wrinkles yet. Without a doubt, i still certainly do not look Chinese at all.

Saturday,
Work.
Monitor down at work, so i had to resort to this old but serves its purpose laptop i borrowed. It's not so bad because i have songs jamming from Limp Bizkit to Bananarama.
Back home to pick up the remaining bags of fleas to put in the boot. Turned in early for the night, for the next day is gonna be a long day.

Sunday,
Anticipated Sunday finally arrived, where we drag big and small bags along the pavement to Sculpture Sqaure in the early morning. I only brought in the first bag, whereas my other half will come in later in the afternoon. It was a major turnoff to see that the area behind our table was infested with a line of crawling ants, sending us the scratching and itching sensation.
Before we even had any sales, Rina and I made our way around the grounds, looking for bargains, of course we got ourselves some stuffs at the end of it. It started out with swatting flies, then as the crowd slowly inch in, we got hyped from the initial sales and that's how motivation came along too. Parents came in the later afternoon with more bags, can you just imagine that? But of course, i don't think i sold any of their stuffs. My new dresses went at really low cost price, but well, if i don't let them go, it's just gonna stay in the closet and just that.
Overall, all the sweat and hardwork in promoting were paid off, at least covering the rental amount. Kudos to Rina, Chris, Arik and me, with backstage workers like our parents for providing some props, goods and moral support. Not forgetting we have 2 hard working brothers of ours, Clyde and Keith for the "air conditioning" provided.
Drained out at the end of the day, with all the haggling and negotiation.

Monday,
I had Redoxen and hot chocolate served to kick start my Monday.
Work.
I forgotten to bring along my favourite pair of shorts for workout, so gave gym a miss.

Tuesday,
I cooked rice and left it overnight for better taste for the fried rice i'm cooking in the morning. Just to flavour it, i think i added almost all the seasonings and sauces i have at home, but the end product is tasty. Packed it in the container and there it goes with me.
Work.
Work affairs going on, how interesting can it go? I pretty much got myself involved because i was the only contactable one at that time. And fancy them jeopardizing the opening hours for that getaway that got into hot boiling cauldron.
Gym-ed and turned in after 5 rounds of mini Mahjong.

Wednesday,
Work.
Things are taking for a turn, be it good or bad, but it certainly affected my day. Its not the mixed signals, but i think it's just the side effects of the prolong situation i've faced ever since i don't know when. Patience, i was told that and thus, achieved. I've pretty much gotten back on the independent track, til i know i can fall on it, i will let myself fall knowing that i would be caught. But i definitely won't deny the intimacy and closeness i longed, so much that i've forgotten how it feels like, i'm starting to get accustom to it.
How long can i savour good moments? As long as i know i've gave my best, that's all it takes. Nuff said, i'm just gonna take things with stride, like i always do. Picking up the pieces of where my stress level has taken me to, the amount of long hours i spent doing nothing much productive.
On a side note, i smell nice today, not the Sakura smell, but CK in2u. I also had a deliciously home cooked omelette with cheese and sausage this morning, the taste still lingers in my taste buds.
Gym-ed.


Things ain't fair in love in war, never been the kind to be ignored, tried to push me to the edge.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

You're tripping if you're thinking.
Saturday,
I took out my purple strand, been tolerating the not so properly binded strand, always sticking out of the thick crown. I'm left naked with that blue, standing out in the sea of multicolours.
Work.

Sunday,
Woke up to an early but lazy Sunday, put on that tee shirt and shorts, brunch-ed and afternoon walk outside, basking in the sun. And also did a lil tiny packing up of that pile of clothes on the couch.
Dinner-ed with Rina, Chris and CB, second visit to Bab Noodle. I realized, i'm the last person to know Russel Peter. Anyhow, he sent me on a laughing crack.

Monday,
Work and gym-ed.

Tuesday,
Work.
I had flowers dotted on my nails to kill time. But again, a slight bang broke my thumbnail.
My mood for heading to gym was dampened by that bloody affair. Imagine, you're out thinking that no, it will not come that early, but you came prepared. However, you put on a less than usual amount of surface area underwear. Then, there's no choice but to let it sit right in the middle trying to balance itself while the ass cheeks move from left to right. At least, it absorbs it all, serving the main purpose of it. And so, i gave gym a miss.
Day number one, my mood starts swinging after so long, and i have this heavy heart feeling as i lay on bed to fall asleep.

Wednesday,
Woke up a lil earlier to make a headstart to pack my stuffs for Sunday's flea market. Speaking of which, to the minority miserable number of people who reads my blog, Rina and I will be hosting a stall at Sunday's flea market.

Time: 10am - 7pm
Venue: Sculpture Square
Address: 155 Middle Road (Opposite Fortune Centre, next to NAFA Campus 1)

What to expect? Of course, from top to toe, from brand new to worn before, nothing less than $1, nothing more than $20. I'm also doing manicure for you girls, for just $5. Just get your wallets down and support us.
I'm having after meal syndrome without fail, but i just ran down to 7-11, bought some bread and post-it noted it, sent. Been tied up with upcoming events, flea market, holidays booking, passport renewal and upcoming change in work schedule. I'm hard to satisfy with that numerous shots of passport photo, which i need to seriously get it done soon before i fly. I'm also starting to watch the fluctuating prices of air tickets, dates confirmed, just tickets and passport.
One more thing adding to the busy agenda, am preparing to start cooking from next week onwards.


You can say that you won but i'll never believe it, cause i can't be defeated.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Out of this tail spin.
Tuesday,
Work and gym-ed.
Took my monthly check of fats and muscles, signs showing improvement. Weight down (maybe i just happen to not eat so much that day), BMI down, BMR down, fat mass down, alright, to cut it short, it's a slight improvement in all. Boy was i glad and satisfied with the results, so i might deserve some treats or rewards?

Wednesday,
Work.
The calories counting is back in trend, Rina's instilling some of those ideas in me. I would just prefer to watch what i eat and give the weekends a break. It was so extreme, the number of calories we're restricting ourselves to reach the ideal. No dinner last night, and it got me craving for Indian food in the afternoon, point satisfied!
I'm coating my nails like finally, whilst at work, giving it cobalt blue base first.
Gym-ed.

Thursday,
Interview for the second job went well, think i've got it. However, odd hours might leave me with lesser social time alone.
Work and gym-ed.

Friday,
Man, it's Labour Day, public holiday. But, i'm not spared as usual, working non stop. Today marks the start of a new month, May. And i'm very much hopeful for someone to take my weekends shift so i'll be able to pick another dance, sport or hobby. Thankfully, i'm having some unleashing in that busy schedule as per tentatively.
My Astons lunch was filling, should consist of at least 800 calories. I'm getting back into the 90's era, Vengaboys' Boom Boom Boom Boom, i want you in my room, i would never forget dancing to this song.


I keep on telling myself i'm gonna find a way, i won't be afraid just like yesterday.